I'm One Year Old. Let's Have a Giveaway!

Well, my blog is anyway... it's my one year blogiversary!  I started blogging on June 1st of last year... since then, I've published 300 posts (including this one), gained 407 GFC followers, 90 Facebook followers, over 30 Linky followers, 432 followers on Pinterest, and over 240,000 page views.  In a year.  Would anyone have believed that a chocolate-addicted, hopeless smart-ass with a glue gun could develop an audience?


Well, I did.  Take THAT, high school guidance counselor.


In honor of one year of cynicism while crafting, I'm having a little giveaway!  This is a very special giveaway... why, it's the most specialist giveaway ever.


I'm giving you whatever the crap you want.  Well, within reason that is.


For a few lucky winners, I'll be making you anything on this blog... perhaps you'd like your own Ironing Mat?

Or your own magnetic message board (you can even pick the colors... look how accommodating I am)?

Or a spring wreath?

A felt wreath?

How about your own canvas calendar?

Or a fabric bowl?

Or of course, faux wrought iron wall art?

Take a look around the blog and pick yourself something pretty... if I draw your name at random, I'll make it and ship it to you.  'Cause I loves you.  I would not recommend any of the recipes as your prize... homemade frosties do not ship well.


To enter, be a follower and leave a comment.  I'll pick a few winners because I don't like to play favorites... The giveaway ends at 11:59pm on June 6th... so don't try to enter at 12:00am on June 7th, cause I'll be watching you.


Thanks for one year of awesomeness!



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What I've Learned Wednesday - Insomnia Activities

I've had such trouble falling asleep lately.  Like, to a ridiculous degree.  Last night, I was up until after 2:00 am.  And I have to be a mom by 7:30 am at the latest.

I might not survive this day.  If I don't, tell the world my story.

Since I've had trouble sleeping, I've found ways to quietly pass time in the wee small hours of the morning.  I present to you all the awesome things you can do instead of staring at your own eyelids.

1.  Take a good look at Craigslist.  Yes, there are some great finds on Craigslist... but have you looked at the 'Rants and Raves' section? Those people are insane and they make me feel better about myself.

2.  Write some snarky blog post that only your dedicated followers will read and not believe you've lost your mind.  FYI, loss of sleep can make you lose your mind.  I am there.

3.  Place candy on your husband's face.  M & M's work best... see how long you can balance them without waking him up.  This game causes giggling though, so be warned.

4.  In an effort to be productive, I decided to update the budget during those lonely night hours.  Our family is now budgeted through 2015.

5.  Go to cnn.com and find any article, preferably a political one.  Skim the article briefly and then scroll to the comments at the bottom.  If those people are any indication of actual voters in this country, we're all in trouble.  Read it and suffer further insomnia due to fear.

6.  Infomercials.  I don't have the P90X system, but just watching the infomercial makes me feel like I've worked out.

7.  Think of all the things you'd like.  A milkshake.  A new living room set.  A three-year old that sleeps through the night.  Then think of all the things you wouldn't like.  A paper cut.  A cup full of sour milk.  A date with Charlie Sheen.  This exercise passes the time pretty well.  Poor Charlie Sheen.

8.   Three's Company.  If none of the previous activities have induced sleep, turn to Nick at Nite and let the hilarity wash over you.


Do any of you suffer from sleeplessness? I'm so tired I could fall asleep right here at my keyboard... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. :)

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Carpal Tunnel for a Good Cause

Another blogger named Pamela contacted me recently about donating to Star of Hope.  They're trying to get some handmade baby items donated for needy families... since I've totally outdone my quota of selfishness for the year, I decided to try and balance the scales a little.

I've had this pinned on Pinterest for a while now and thought I'd give it a whirl.  It was pretty simple, but my wrists are killing me.  I figure though, that the extra pain means I've sacrificed more and am therefore, a better person.  This is how I sleep at night.

It's a pretty simple crochet pattern.  I know I usually give you a step-by-step with pictures but I've recently discovered that I am unable to take pictures of myself crocheting.  I GAVE IT MY ALL BUT I'M ONLY ONE WOMAN.


If any of you are interested in donating a baby item, send me an email and I'll send you Pamela's way!

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Happy Memorial Day!

I know you're patiently waiting by the computer to diligently take notes about surviving the apocalypse.  I hate to disappoint you, but today I'm knee-deep in grilled food and gratitude for our veterans.  I'll catch you tomorrow, when I'm twelve pounds heavier.

Happy Memorial Day!

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Trash Bag For The Car

It makes me sleep better at night knowing we live in a society with the technology to thwart children messing up a car.  And if you have a few simple supplies, you too can make a trash bag for the car.  And then you will find yourself repeating to your children "DON'T THROW THAT ON THE FLOOR, WE HAVE A TRASH BAG NOW."

I found a great tutorial for this over at How Does She?.  You'll need some fabric, ribbon and velcro.  She used home decor fabric, which would have been a bit less bendy... but I used the fabric I had on-hand and it still turned out pretty well.

You'll need two fabrics, one for the outside and one for the inside.  Of course, you could use the same fabric for both, you rebel you.  Cut the fabric to 10" x 13" so you have four pieces, two of each fabric, all the same size.


Pin the fabrics right sides together so you have your exterior and interior separate.

Sew the exterior bag with a 5/8" seam allowance around three sides, leaving one of the short sides open. Once you've sewed it, go back and do a zigzag stitch beside it for extra strength.  This this is the Incredible Hulk of trash bags.  Do the same thing for the interior fabric.

Trim the fabric next to the seam and clip the corners.

Turn one of the bags right side out.  Shove it into the other bag so the right sides are together.  Pin 'em in place.

 Sew around the top of the bag, leaving a small section un-stitched for flipping it right-side out.

Just like before, add a zigzag stitch beside the straight stitch.


Pull the bags right side out by pulling the first bag completely out and then flipping them right-side out.

Top stitch around the top, which closes that hole we left...

Ska-doosh.  That's what my three-year old says.  The bag is done!  Next, take some strong ribbon, about 10" or so.  Cut it in half and burn the edges which will keep it from fraying.

Add some velcro to the ends...

Sew the other ends to the bag.  PRESTO.  You've got a bag... attach it to the back of your seat and expect that all the trash will just magically float to it.

There are a few steps to this project, but it was well worth it!


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What I've Learned Wednesday - Self-Inflicted Pressure

If you're reading my blog, you're reading other blogs.  And if you're reading other blogs, you've probably experienced some blog/blogger envy.  You know, that blogger has it all together and they've got their living room totally decorated and their dishes are always done and their laundry is always clean and they apparently have a live-in stylist and make-up artist.

I hate those bloggers.

OK, I don't hate them... but I tell myself that no matter how awesome their life and house looks on that blog, they've got their own problems and I need to remember that I don't need to be like them.

I was putting an amazing amount of pressure on myself because those bloggers are so super awesome.  I was exerting a ridiculous amount of energy trying to think of how I could get it all together like they did.  And then I would see crumbs on the floor I just vacuumed and my youngest child with a loaded paintbrush running into oblivion to redecorate his room to his liking.  And then I would have my version of a nervous breakdown, grab a pint of ice cream, and collapse into the sofa for a day or two.


Don't be like your ol' pal Prissy.  Your house is great.  Your blog (if you've got one) is great.  You have great ideas and talent and your life is not defined by anyone else.  Use those great blogs for inspiration and motivation, but don't let it make you feel like you're not good enough.  Don't put pressure on yourself to be something you aren't because what you are is awesome already.


And you know what?  Those dishes will wait.  Go do something fun.

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Summer Bucket List

Today is my oldest son's last day of first grade.  Summer vacation officially starts tomorrow.

I'm going to need some strength.

There are 86 days until school starts again... Jon and I came up with 86 activities to fill our summer days!

I got an 11"x14" frame from Jo-Ann's Fabric (with a 40% off coupon) and some fabric.  I fired up the ol' Silhouette and put it all together.  There were some vinyl issues so the placement is wonky on a couple of them... but I had pretty much had my fill of vinyl letters by then, so it will do just fine.  In the future, a piece of paper and a crayon will be my preferred list-making tools.

Eighty-six days.  With both of the kids.  And they'll spend most of their time fighting over some toy that neither of them cared about previously.  I might spend most of my summer blogging my tears.

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